Death and Mourning

Some very traditionally Orthodox Jews, especially the ultra-Orthodox Chassidim (those who are seen to dress in black with long hair locks and large black hats) continue the practice of mourning for a family member who has left Judaism. The more liberal Jews do question this practice, seeing it as an overly harsh act that could make it much more problematic for the particular family member to return to traditional Judaism should they wish to, citing that being born a Jew means you will always be a Jew

The deceased body is washed, cleaned and dressed in a plain white shroud, except for the face, which is left uncovered. The reason for the simple shroud is to ensure that those who cannot afford fancy clothing are not "embarrassed" that they do not have any fancy clothes themselves, and to reinforce the belief that all men (and women) are created equal, come into the world with nothing and should therefore leave with nothing

Once the coffin has been lowered into the grave, immediate family mourners are invited by the celebrant of the burial service to shovel earth onto the coffin. This tender ritual is perhaps the most important in terms of helping individuals face the reality of their loss and is strongly encouraged. One custom is to use the back of the shovel to indicate a reticence at actually carrying out this custom. Once family members have placed soil on the coffin, everyone else in attendance is invited to also share the family’s grief by helping to fill in the grave

The deceased person’s eyes are closed, their body covered and candles are lit. The body is never left alone until the actual time of the burial. Any eating and drinking near the body is not allowed as a sign of respect. Jews may not be cremated or embalmed

After the burial service has concluded, a meal is prepared by friends to help the mourners regain their strength, often including symbolic hard-boiled eggs whose shape is said to match either life or the journey through grief

Yahrtzeit, meaning "Time (of one) Year" in Yiddish refers to the anniversary of the day of death of a relative. A special Yahrtzeit candle will be lit in the homes of the primary family mourners, while the male members of the family (husband, brother and son/s over the age of 13) will attend synagogue for remembrance prayers during the period that the candle burns (usually for early morning and the combined afternoon/early evening services)

That is, unless they die on a Friday, then the burial is held over until the Sunday, but the burial should be held as soon as possible, preferably the next day, as it is said that the soul cannot rest until the dead person is buried. However, there is a more practical element to this ‘speedy’ burial than tradition dictates and that is a little more traditional in practice having originated from the fact that Israel was, and still is, a country with a very hot climate. In Biblical times, there were few ways of keeping the dead body from decomposing in the heat

The custom for a Jewish person visiting a Jewish grave is to place a small stone using the left hand (it being the hand nearest the heart). This shows that someone visited the graveside, and as a traditional perspective from biblical times when graves were marked with mounds of stones rather than a singular headstone, placing (or replacing, as in ancient times) them, it preserves the actual existence of the site

While Jewish law forbids tattoos, it is only a myth that this prevents a consecrated burial in a Jewish cemetery. While a small minority of strictly Orthodox cemeteries will not accept a corpse with a tattoo, Jewish law does not specifically mention the burial of those with a tattoo. Removing the tattoo of a deceased Jewish person is not permitted as it would be considered as damaging the body. There is also the case where the deceased may be a survivor of the Holocaust where Jews were forcibly tattooed by the Nazis

This marks the start of seven days of mourning that takes place at the principal house of the mourning family. This is the time when family and friends can offer their sympathies to the mourners. Despite the austerity of the occasion, the conversation is usually more upbeat to remember the joy felt when the deceased was alive and an active member of the family